Oh, summer

Being an adaptable creature, I manage to only fixate on the most recent dietary restriction. A few months ago, I was really craving a beer. Or a glass of wine. Just one, on the porch or out for dinner. But I think this was mostly just craving for something I can't have - I used to be exceptionally jealous of the college kids who live across the street from the playground. I used to be out there with Turing in the afternoon and they'd come back from playing tennis, sit on their crappy college porch furniture, and do nothing except drink a beer, smoke a cigarette, and chat with each other. I was definitely desiring what I couldn't have more than what I really wanted: a drink, a cigarette (right), and a lazy afternoon.

Now that I can't have any caffiene, including chocolate or decaf coffee, I've fixated on iced coffee. What is summer without iced coffee? Sad and full of desire. We are a family of coffee drinkers - even Turing likes coffee, as sweet and creamy as we tend to make it. People are always astounded that he likes coffee at such a young age, but they are probably also giving us strange looks because they don't realize we're giving our toddler decaf. We aren't dumb enough to give him caffienated coffee. Turing gets really excited when Trouble brings some coffee home and he gets to drink it out of the cup. I just get to smell it. Life is hard.

At first, I told myself that baby's heart arrhythmia would probably resolve itself in a few weeks and I'd wait a few more weeks just to be safe and then I could go back to having decaf coffee again. Now, I've come to the conclusion that this is probably not going to be resolved anytime soon. And if I'm not allowed to have chocolate, I doubt the doctor will OK having decaf while breast feeding if this is still going on. That means I'll miss an entire season of iced coffee. Life is extra hard.

I must say that all this is easier than trying to eat a vegetarian diabetic diet. But it is so easy to fixate on what I miss when it is just a few things . . .