One week to go

My dissertation document will be out to committee in one week. That is printed out and nicely bound and all that business. Spiral bound, not book bound, because the document is not actually done. Goodness, no. Some days, it seems astounding that this will ever be "done." I guess done is when it goes off to the real printer for book binding. Or it is when I get the three papers within that book accepted for publication. If acceptance for publication is "done," I'm looking at another year's worth of work, probably.

So, I've been a bit stressed. Yes, a bit.

It does not help that my advisor is finally getting around to giving me some comments on my papers. And not just on grammar. I think I would have been OK with these sorts of comments up to about 2 weeks ago. Now? F if I know how many I'm actually going to be able to address in the next week. I don't think he really realizes that I can't pull out an 80 hour work week here at the end. Oh, well, I'll know what he'll want to discuss during the defense . . .

I certainly can't pull an 80 hour work week with a bunch of poorly distributed doctor's appointments. Just as Turing is getting to the point where he only has to go in every 6 months, I'm setting myself up for going to the doctor all the time, again. I applied for on-campus parking today. I feel guilty about driving to work when it is only 3 miles away and there are a lot of buses. But the buses are for people who work regular hours - if I was going in to work in the morning and leaving in the afternoon, the buses are brilliant. Otherwise, I end up burning half a day trying to get to a doctor's appointment or make the most inconvenient schedule possible by trying to get home to breastfeed. So, no guilt over the application.

Turing, of course, is picking up on my "little bit" of stress and thinks it is a great time to start testing limits more to see how Mommy handles it. Spitting lentil soup all over the floor? Yup. Eating gravel at the playground? Yup. Pushing the cats around? Yup. I did not handle it well yesterday and ended up dumping him in his crib for five minutes so I could finish making dinner. Today, I am a bit more clear headed and was able to ignore the behaviors I didn't like (and then, shockingly, they stop) and then "praise" the next good behavior with lots of attention or redirect to something fun. Somehow, that whole process just was overwhelming to me yesterday.

It will probably be overwhelming again next week.